Add ghost notes without losing the backbeat
Make the quiet notes distinct from the main snare hits.
Ghost notes are quiet notes within a groove, often played on the snare between stronger backbeats. Their value comes from the rhythm and contrast they add. If each one sounds like another backbeat, the pattern has changed more than you intended.
Add one note first
Use a straight 4/4 groove with hi-hat eighth notes, kick on 1 and 3, and snare on 2 and 4. Count "1 e & a 2 e & a 3 e & a 4 e & a." Add one quiet snare note on the a of 2, the final sixteenth before beat 3.
Keep the stick near the head for that quiet stroke, using a relaxed motion. An exact stick height will not suit every drum or player. Listen for a clear difference between the quiet note and the snare on 2 and 4.
Check the notes around it
Record the groove with and without the extra note. Listen from the backbeat on 2 through the kick on 3. The ghost note should occupy its place without pulling beat 3 early or delaying it.
If coordination changes the spacing, slow down and practice just "2 e & a 3" with the backbeat, quiet note and kick. Restore the hi-hat once that part is even.
Hear it in the song
Try the note under the actual bass and vocal parts. It may add movement, disappear in the mix, or crowd an existing rhythm. Check before adding another one. A sparse groove does not become unfinished because you leave ghost notes out.